How To Be A Better Foster Parent

Being a foster parent can be hard. But it is also one of the most meaningful things you can do in life. You will be giving a child, or children, a safe and comforting home—even if just for a while. When you are a new foster parent, especially, you may wonder how you can improve or what you can do to better care for the children you take in. Every situation is different, but in general, here are a few steps you can follow to be an even better foster parent.

Talk to a Therapist

This may seem like an odd recommendation at first. But note that if something is bothering you mentally or emotionally, you won't be at your best. You may not be as calm and collected as you could be. You might be more quickly driven to anger. If you see a therapist even once a month, this gives you a chance to work through some of your mental and emotional struggles so you can be more present around your foster children. You don't even have to talk about the challenges of fostering in therapy, although you can if that's something you struggle with.

Stick to a Routine

Many children in foster care have been through a lot of instability in their lives. They tend to crave stability as a source of comfort. If you can follow a structured routine in your home, the foster children will come to know what to expect, which will help them settle in and feel safe. Get up at the same time every day. Have them brush their teeth, wash their face, eat breakfast, and otherwise prepare for the day in the same order. Maintain a consistent bedtime. Eat dinner together every night, if possible.

Be Forgiving

While you do need to maintain discipline to some degree, try to be forgiving when your foster children do something wrong or don't quite meet your expectations. Remember, they are away from home and in a family they don't yet know. They may be doing their very best. Try to understand why they are misbehaving or underperforming, and then address the root cause, rather than punishing the misbehavior.

Being a foster parent is difficult, but rewarding. As you continue in the experience, you will figure out on your own what works and what does not. Above all else, remember to be welcoming, supportive, and patient. These children need you.

For more information on how to be a foster parent, reach out to an organization that facilitates fostering and adoption.  

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